Whether you're getting ready to leave home for college for the first time, are currently a college student, or just to prefer to re-live the glory days, this article is for you! Today we will be addressing the "State of the Liquor." What are today’s penniless college students drinking?
10.) Kentucky Gentleman
Kentucky Gent, the cheap and sloppy little brother of Jack Daniel (and loosely related to Virginia Gentleman (VeeGee). You'll always find Kentucky Gentleman mixed with soda...or Coke, for you Southerners. It's a cheap version of every southern gentleman's favorite drink.
9.) Bud Light
Bud Light is the best it gets for beer in college. Ever girl is looking to bum a beer from the guy who walks in the party with a case of Bud Light. Note: this does not apply to Bud Light Lime. "BLL" has no place in this blog post.
Bacardi is the drink of choice for every girl who comes back to school after break with some extra cash. Whenever you see a girl with a bottle of Bacardi in one hand, you're certain to find a bottle of fruit juice in the other (along with the keys to mom's old beamer).
7.) Yellow Tail
Ah, Yellow Tail - the classiest drink you'll find at the local gas station/underage service station. Priced slightly higher than your favorite malt liquor 40 oz., Yellow Tail has all the Panhellenic ladies lifting their pinkies.
6.) Busch Light
If you can't afford Bud Light and can't stomach Natty Light, Busch Light is the beer for you. Now with alcohol!
5.) Unidentified Punch
Every big party will have a jug of punch. It's a cheap and tasty way for kids to get a buzz. Save yourself some trouble and don't bother to ask anyone what's in the punch. The only guy who knows has been passed out for hours. Also, this punch is likely delivered in a trash can, so there's that.
Everclear is the cheapest and strongest bottle at the liquor store - "Best bang for your buck!" You'll rarely find Everclear drank on its own. Jello shots, anyone?
Burnett's is one of the cheapest vodkas in the liquor store. With so many different flavors, every student in a pinch for cash can find something they can enjoy. I'm partial to the orange, myself.
ALWAYS slap the bag! Boxed wine is a cheap version of a typically classy beverage. Fun Fact! Franzia's highest and best use is as follows: (1) remove kinda sketchy bag o' wine from box, (2) go tubing, (3) tie bag o' wine to tube and allow to stay chilled in the often-too-cold stream in which you find yourself. Voila!
1.) Natty Light
Every party, pregame or day drinking occasion has Natty Light. The only thing "natural" about Natty Light is the water inside each can, of which there is plenty. The box claims over 3% ABV, but color me skeptical.